alert readers(again)

I just put up my first chapter, and i would love to hear your feedback. like i said, i will update monthly by chapter. thanks!!!

Chapter 1

Once again, I’m running. Running like heck, trying to figure out what’s going on. Is this all just a bad dream? Is this my mind playing tricks on me? Have I finally gone mad? I stumble over my feet, and hit the ground hard. Pain shoots all throughout my body. I fight the pain, and slowly get back up, because this pain is nothing compared to what I’ve been through. And it’s because I no longer have anyone to depend on, I start to run. No one can save me now, as the ground starts to cave in under my feet. The revolution is starting. Soon enough it will finish me off, and the rest of us with me. The ground falls in, and I jump. I try to grab on to a metal bar, but my hands fumble and slip off it. Screaming, I fall into pitch black nothingness. I look around, panicked. Where’s Jack? Kasay? Kara? Emma? Katie? Rand? Elena? Is even Natasha gone? Where are they? Have they all died like me? How do I know them? Who are they? Names aren’t allowed to be told to anyone but yourself, so why do I know theirs? “Sydney,” a voice says. Such a soothing voice. Feels like a good way to die, hearing such a beautiful voice.

                “SYDney….” K says. I look up. K, my childhood friend, is standing right above me. I sit up.

“Did I pass out again?”

“Yeah. You did. Quit it, okay? We aren’t supposed to ever sleep, yet you pass out all the time. I’m worried they’ll start to find out.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m not part of the community’s special few anyway.”

“What about the turning? It’s coming up, and you know there’s no way you can stop it. So stop, before you get hurt.”

“Well, sorry. Maybe if I get lucky, they’ll decide to put me out of my misery.”

“That’s not funny. Value your life for once, okay? You’re better than you think you are. As a matter of fact, you’re better than half the J’s.”

The J’s. Every person is divided into different communities, based on their talent. According to the Paranas, I am healthy, fit, and athletic, so I fit in with the J’s. K is part of the O’s. they like other old fashioned cultures. K once told me of a place called “Japanese” and this food called “Moechee”. It’s really cool, being an O. I wouldn’t have minded being one if I wasn’t a J. I don’t mind it, being a J. We do things like running and sports, like soccer.  The people in the J group aren’t very nice, though. They all think of the J group as one of the better groups. I never had any friends from that group, except one guy. Ironically, he is called J. Everyone loves him. They say that he is a natural born J, even though that’s 100% impossible. On my first day, he talked to me. I was sitting over in a corner, practicing my shot in basketball. I never missed a single shot. He saw me. I still remember what he first said when he talked to me.

“You’re pretty good for an extra. You sure you’re not a natural born?” he joked.

I shrug. There’s nothing I could really say to that. “I’m no natural born, and everyone knows it. Hell, I’m not even an extra. I’m a random.”

He gasped. No one is to call that word by its full name. The punishment was serious if anyone caught you. This girl must really not care what happens to her, J thought. He tried his best to maintain his fake smile.

                I notice his surprise and concern, but just as always, I didn’t know what to make of them. “So what, you gonna turn me in for that? After all, all the goody two-shoes bastards have to be good and turn the naughty ones in, right?”

                I knew I had shocked him right away. His face gave away everything he was thinking. One of the biggest rules was not to imagine or make up insulting names or insults towards people, or things in general. I just broke one of the biggest taboos. But, it wasn’t the first time. I expected him to run off to the paranas, but instead he looked curious. That was a first. I don’t remember a single kid who wasn’t like me at all not run off to tattle.

                “So you think you’re an R?” he asked.

This took me by complete surprise. I had never expected that to be the first question he’d ask. “Well, yeah. This whole idea of me being a J is completely messed up. All the others are likeable and cool, and look at me. I’m the complete opposite. No one ever thought of me as a natural. I’m not like you.”

                He laughs, shaking his head. His blonde hair glistens and shakes in the sun. “I’m no better than you. Actually, I’m just like you. I know exactly how you feel. You said you’re a random? Well, I’m worse. I’m just an image.”

                I’m dumbfounded. Utterly speechless. That was the last thing I thought I would hear. An image was being something or someone you’re not.  Sometimes the paranas force people to become images to inspire hope or happiness, or to boost a group’s confidence. I never actually thought we’d get one. With so much pressure and stress involved in being an image, it could corrupt your system.

                “But…but the paranas announce the images as inspiration. They announced you as our next big star. They actually called you a natural.”

He shrugs. “I am a natural. But it’s not what I want to be a natural in. I am a natural at being an image natural. I’m all alone, with no one to help me.”

I finally found my voice, and said the only thing I felt I could say.

“You’re not alone.”

                After that, we became friends. We were able to understand each other’s pain and suffering. J listened to me, and never stopped me from saying things I shouldn’t. From time to time, I would get mad and tell him to stand up for himself. Tell the government and paranas to go to hell, and that he controls his life. But we both know the answer to that. Standing up to them is impossible. They’re too powerful. We are like small fries to them. Consumable.

On my way to the J building, a girl from D walks up behind me.

“Guess who learned a new word!”

I sighed. “Which word this time, Em?”

Em smiled. “Nutcracker. Know what it means? It’s like, a dance that people used to celebrate on this thing called Christmas. The nutcracker was a wooden doll who turned human and saved a girl from a giant rat. Fascinating, right?”

                I nod. “It’s definitely an odd word.”

Em studies me, and finally asks what’s on her mind.

                “How come you don’t tell anyone your name or patheoname besides your good friends, Syndromei?”

I twitch. I hate it when she asks things like this. It makes me uncomfortable.

                “I hate my name. My so called parents named me it because they hated me. Abbreviate Syndromei. What do you get? Sin. They called me sin. What’s so good about the word sin? Absolutely nothing. That’s why. And I hate patheonames. I don’t wanna be just a stupid S. that’s why.”

                Em nods. It was the same response as she always gives me. She’s afraid I’m like a paper house. Put too much weight on me, and I’ll collapse. But she doesn’t realize that she’s the same. She’s like a flower, too beautiful to be true. But if you pick her, she’ll eventually die.

                “You better head to class, or else you’ll be late again. I’ll see you around,’ kay?”

She nods and leaves with a smile. I let out a ragged breath I didn’t know I was holding. On my way to the J community, the intercom comes on.

                “Ladies and Gentlemen, please listen to this special announcement from your respected leaders, the Paranas.”

                There’s a slight pause, and then another voice comes on.

“Good afternoon, students. This is the main Parana speaking. A week from today, as you all know, is the turning. At that day we will announce who will come to be part of our community, who needs more practice, and who will be “L’s”. We expect and look forward to all of you participating. For now, please try your best in your facility. Thank you.”

                There’s a slight click, and the intercom goes silent. I decide not to go to the J facility, because it’ll be crowded with annoying EParanas. The ones that always tell us what an honor it is to even be part of a facility, and not a lost wanderer. I walk back to the dorm, trying not to think of Emma, K, J, or the turning. As I walk inside my dorm house, I hear a voice. 

Alert Readers!

For a while, I've been doing some fairly random short stories. From today on, I will be working on my short story, called the lost, unlost girl. I will update by chapter each month. I hope you like it!